Just when America was about to lie down and die, “Saturday Night Live” comes up with a dream impeachment trial you wished had happened — with Beck Bennett’s “Sneaky Little Mitch” McConnell and the return of Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump, with a walker.
The cold open begins like the actual Senate impeachment trial and is presided over by a dull Justice John Roberts played by Mikey Day. TV’s Judge Mathis (Kenan Thomspon) charges in to boot him from the bench because “this court needs a real judge who got some big brass ones under his skirt. Scoot!”
Defender Sen. Lindsey Graham (Kate McKinnon), who calls himself a “simple country simpleton,” tells the new judge he has studied the situation — and knows that if he’s going to win reelection he needs to “kiss Mr. Trump’s grits and tickle his biscuits.”
Thompson insists on witnesses. Cecily Strong’s John Bolton explains he has seen enough to make him “deeply worried about the future of democracy” — then pitches his book.
Pete Davidson’s Hunter Biden literally glides in to confess he’s on the board of Brazilian money-laundering company “Nepotismo” — and selling steaks at the top of a high-rise. “Oh WAIT, no, that’s the president’s sons!” he remembers. “Ya burnt!”
Baldwin’s Trump finally staggers in with a “Weinstein” walker, explaining he couldn’t have held up Ukraine aid because he’s so “sick” he can “barely get around the house.” Finally he admits: “I’m guilty, but it ain’t no thang.”
Then “McConnell” — Trump’s “ride or die bitch” sings lines from “Send in the Clowns” with McKinnon and Strong.
And “Trump” is guilty on all charges.
Check out the video above.
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